Captain's Log

Captain’s Log, Parenthood Date: 1659 (2)

The tiny natives have proved to be strangely possessive of the toilet, guarding it fiercely, even from one another. They squabble over it, both clambering upon the seat when one declares the need to relieve him or herself. The fact that there is another toilet here, not half a minute’s walk from the first, does not foster peace between them. Furthermore, in the event that I am allowed to use the restroom, they insist on remaining nearby, watching. I believe the toilet acts as some kind of false god to them, so precious they are loath to allow me near it.

It has been four hours since my last attempt. I fear I may not make it through the fifth.

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