Captain's Log

Captain’s Log, Parenthood Date: 1667

Today is the day we honor St. Patrick. In my culture, celebrations include activities such as parades,  wearing green, sharing portraits of  (supposedly) fabled leprechauns with friends, and imbibing copious amounts of ale. The tiny natives appear to have their own tradition, however, though I cannot make sense of it. Whenever left alone, they immediately empty the nearest cabinet or closet, placing the contents in an entirely nonsensical place. I do not know who St. Patrick is to them, or why they believe he appreciates their chaos. But there is enough of a semblance of order to their task to imply that it is in fact a sacred ritual, rather than a random act meant only to drive me mad. It cannot be a coincidence.

Note: I am cataloging photographic evidence of these incidents for my records, in the hope that we may further study the tiny natives’ rituals. Perhaps one day, we will understand them.